CHOOSE HIM WISELY: How To Identify A Safe Partner
I have a new book coming out, “CHOOSE HIM WISELY: How To Identify A Safe Partner” (with co-author Donald Meichenbaum, Ph.D). Available Oct 27 in paperback from www.bookbaby.com or www.RTIprojects.org, or e-version from www.bookbaby.com or Amazon.Here’s info from the back cover and an endorsement from the family of Gabby Petito:
So many talented and smart women often miss the signs of a dangerous partner. It can happen to anyone. This book highlights why it is critical for women to make smart and safe decisions in making the crucial life decision of choosing a partner and the warning signs of abusive and controlling men: love-bombing, jealousy, blaming the partner, ”too much, too soon”, etc.
“Quite simply, we sincerely believe that if our daughter Gabby Petito had learned about domestic violence, whether in school, through conversations, or from a book like Drs. Wexler and Meichenbaum’s Choose Him Wisely, her life could have been very different…..
In short, Choose Him Wisely is full of compassion, wisdom, and practical information that can save lives. We strongly endorse this book in honor of Gabby’s memory.”
–Nichole and Jim Schmidt, mother and stepfather of Gabby Petito, Founders of the Gabby Petito Foundation
Oct 24, 2025 @ 14:43:24
What a great resource! Thank you, Dr. Wexler and Dr. Meichenbaum, for continuing to bring awareness to such a critical topic. Education and early recognition are essential in preventing cycles of abuse, and this book will no doubt equip many individuals to make safer, more informed choices in their relationships.
Oct 24, 2025 @ 18:05:14
Thank you for this wonderful resource. Are there such books for the many men who are intelligent and talented who choose abusive female partners? Having worked in the field for over five years in a DV program for male perpetrators and victims of female aggression and abuse such a resource for them would be significant.
The increase over recent years in abusive women seems to be given short thrift. The focus continues to see men as primary initiators and perpetrators of ongoing abuse. The resistance to accepting the changing paradigm by society and our own field remains astonishing.
Would love some book recommendations.
Oct 26, 2025 @ 22:43:21
Hello Ives. Good question–but I don’t have an answer. There is plenty of info available about the dynamics of female abusers, but no book or resource that I know of specifically about how men can spot some of these signs. If it’s any help, most of the characteristics we describe in our book about potentially abusive men also apply to potentially abusive women!